What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 05:00
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
What is every dictators biggest fear?
So whats the point in blame.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
What will the legacy of Jimmy Carter be in light of his death today at 100?
Would this be the day?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Why won't Canada build their own fighter jet?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
How do I seduce my sister? (I am an Indian) I want to have sex with her.?
He knew the spot.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was very sick at this time too.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
When she asked me how she looked .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Did Trump show us once again that he is a master debater?
But ive been too sick for many years..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Comes on , in middle age.
I am 13 and I am planning to run away. What should I do to succeed?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What is your opinion on the band Nickelback? Why do they receive criticism from some people?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We were not on the streets..
He resisted the act ,that day.
How is cultural invasion being carried out by Bollywood?
I waited trembling.
My life is so biszare .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
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This is how, and why children get BPD.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Scientists Identify Hidden Rule That Shapes All Life on Earth - SciTechDaily
My family never makes their pension either.
I think the readers, may guess!
She was in good health!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
But, we were locked up after school.
I have no regrets .
I never cut or harmed myself..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I could never make a relationship work though!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
(And it was in our own minds.)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
All the time i was locked up.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Who then, do I blame.?
I was 9 years of age.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I said to her
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We all went to grammer schools
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
As i do to all so called friends.?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She wouldn,t have been !
She married twice! .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I don,t even have a pension.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
So, i spoilt her more .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I was scared of men, in general
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
It was going to be , some day.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I write beautiful poetry .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I will be 64.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She found it foreign!.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
What did i know ?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But it wasn’t much.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Put me off passion for life!!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Ive learnt so much.
This is soul school!.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She loved him until the end.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I was seconnd youngest,
Especially a lifetime of it.
Was to survive, this bastard.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
And i lived it daily.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im still living with it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
One cannot live in the past .